Boundaries Actually Open Your World

In Being a Child, Being Real, Believing God, boundaries, Dependence, Enjoying God, God is in Control, god's sovereignty, Hearing God, His Life Not Mine, overcoming shame, shame, Uncategorized, Yes by john@divinedesigned.lifeLeave a Comment

Yes, boundaries can open up your world. Your universe is opened by them, not closed.

As I’ve been meditating more about the idea of shame, I’ve learned something amazing: boundaries and shame go hand in hand. Our shame can become more acute when we don’t have clear boundaries. Our inability to say “NO” in situations, especially where we were too young or too vulnerable, is often the source of deep shame. We felt ashamed and scared since we couldn’t set clear limits.

The Connection Between Shame and Boundaries

The Connection Between Shame and Boundaries
Boundaries have proven essential in dealing with shame. Setting limits enables us to say “NO” when we previously couldn’t. This is about respecting ourselves and not getting into arguments simply to advance our hopes for security and well-being. Boundaries establish a safe area where we can be open and responsive to ourselves, others, and our environment rather than shutting us off from the outside world.

The ability to say “YES” rather than the obsession with our “NO” is where boundaries genuinely give life. Instead of constantly enforcing negative rules, it’s about determining what we want and need. Being in a constant state of “NO” is lonely and draining. It limits us, yet focusing on “YES” exposes us to fresh opportunities and experiences.

Coaching is helpful in this process since it provides a space to discover direction and gain clarity. It entails letting someone accompany us on our path and help guide us out of shame. Rather than doing it alone, we emerge from shame via connection and community. This is about being open, providing consent, and setting limits, not micromanaging the world to keep ourselves safe.

Limitations: A Way to Experience Life to the Fullest

Limitations: A Way to Experience Life to the Fullest
Boundaries are a conduit for a more fulfilling existence, not just erecting protecting walls. They enable us to interact honestly and constructively with the outside world. Yes, stating “NO” to things we don’t want or tolerate is a necessary part of setting boundaries, but our “YES” drives them most. It makes it possible for us to live more fully and in a community.

When all we think about is a long list of “NOs,” we isolate ourselves. However, that is not our purpose. It is our calling to be receptive, loving, and open. It is from this openness that we can create an environment where shame can be dealt with and starts to fade and finally vanishes.

When we set boundaries, we are not isolating ourselves. We’re establishing boundaries for our safety and what is acceptable in our lives. It’s about saying “yes” to God, ourselves, and other people while we go about our daily lives. And where those yeses are stated is up to us to decide. It’s our life, and we can make it what we want.

The work of boundaries and what they may do for those of us who are overcoming shame truly excites me. Setting limits is important, but it has nothing to do with law enforcement or legalism. It’s about leading an open and receptive life.

Accompany Me on This Adventure

I appreciate you listening and being a part of my journey as I investigate the connection between shame and boundaries. I am really excited about my soon-to-be released book, Overcoming Shame. It is currently being edited for publication. I’ll be sharing additional thoughts with you over the next several days and weeks. Continue to explore the influence of boundaries in your life, and stay tuned.

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